Wow. I can not believe it. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, arguably one of the largest and greatest cultural icons of our time… it lost to Final Fantasy. That’s not to say that I prefer TMNT over FF (I’ll probably show a bracket of what I would have chosen at the end of this), but I wouldn’t have guessed that Final Fantasy would have been so overwhelmingly popular, with 75% of the vote.

Anyway, we’re off to the next installment, Star Wars versus Kingdom Hearts. Which one of these Disney properties will survive? I think we’ve passed the ability for me to make assumptions.

Opening Argument: Star Wars

A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away….

STAR WARS

 

 

 

 

Um… that’s all I’ve got for an opening reference. I suppose I could have given it a title and episode number, but that would have seemed a bit forced. (Teehee).

Anyway, Star Wars is an empire. It’s a blockbuster hit filled with all kinds of media. Of course, we’re all familiar with the many great films. To argue their prominence would be a waste of breath. No, Star Wars’ box office supremacy is self-evident. Let’s instead look at how dominant they are in every other form of media.

There are comics upon comics of Star Wars related material, courtesy of the incredible minds at Marvel. There are books upon books. Music? Star Wars has John Williams. Cartoons? Star Wars: The Clone Wars rocks. Almost nothing comes anywhere close to Star Wars’ toy presence. But beyond all those forms of entertainment (and many others) is the place where Star Wars thrives, video games.

Star Wars has so many fantastic video games to its name. And they are all so different. Let’s just list a quick five of their greatest hits: Battlefront 2, Knights of the Old Republic, Jedi Outcast 2, Rogue Squadron, and Star Wars: Episode 1 Racer. Many of you may be thinking of other video games that I didn’t mention that you have a person preference for. That’s the point, Star Wars, in all its mediums, is so much to many different people. Kingdom Hearts doesn’t stand a chance.

Opening Argument: Kingdom Hearts

What happens when you take the awesome anime style of Final Fantasy and combine it with the cute characters from Disney? Pure awesomeness. And that’s what we’ve received from Square Enix and Disney for seventeen years. Now one might ask how a video game series, even one as great as Kingdom Hearts, can keep up with the media giant known as Star Wars. It’s actually super easy, barely an inconvenience.

Before we get into why Star Wars isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be, let’s first talk about why Kingdom Hearts rocks. The first thing that probably draws in potential Kingdom Hearts fans is its celebration of Disney and Square Enix material. You go through each game and get to experience your childhood. Honestly, it may not be too long until Sora visits the world of Marvel or even Star Wars. And that’s what makes Kingdom Hearts so awesome. You can hang out with the likes of Cloud, Hercules, Stitch, and Baymax.

Second, it’s just so much fun to play. It’s an in-depth RPG full of many different elements. You level up your character, get new skills, and craft ultimate weapons. You wipe out hoards and hoards of enemies in new an exciting ways. All of this is while you’re hanging out with Donald and Goofy. It’s hard to explain how satisfying that experience is.

Third, the story really is captivating. While it might be difficult for someone to jump into Kingdom Hearts 3 without any prior experience, any Kingdom Hearts fan will tell you that the real reason we stick around is because of how much we love the story and its characters. You come for Donald, Goofy, and Mickey. You stay for Sora, Riku, and Kairi. You want to see how their story ends. And it captures your heart in epic moments that can hardly be explained.

Rebuttal: Star Wars

Really? That’s all you’ve got, Kingdom Hearts? Star Wars has all of that in just one game, Knights of the Old Republic. You know what Star Wars also has? An easily understood story. A complicated story that people can’t jump into is just a sign of convoluted writing. People can jump into any Star Wars story with barely any exposure and still enjoy it like crazy.

Of course that will essentially never happen because everybody knows Star Wars! It’s so much bigger than anything that Kingdom Hearts has ever done that it’s almost insulting to have the two of them mentioned in the first breath. Have kids ever gone around swinging a keyblade? No, not really. A lightsaber? Definitely.

And Kingdom Hearts’ fame isn’t its own. It relies so hard on nostalgia factor from other series that its popularity can hardly be considered its own. Let’s face it, Kingdom Hearts is just a niche game series for a niche crowd. Star Wars reigns supreme.

Rebuttal: Kingdom Hearts

Oh, that’s quite some fine wording there. Relying on nostalgia? That’s what Star Wars has been doing for for over twenty-five years! Sure, the original trilogy was good, but the prequel trilogy was shoddy at best. And when Disney took the helm, it made a passable film by relying on nostalgia. And when they tried to abandon that in Episode 8, the fans hated the film.

It’s crazy how quickly Star Wars fatigue set in, isn’t it? The poor Han Solo film didn’t stand a chance. It didn’t help that it also wasn’t very good. Kingdom Hearts 3, on the other hand, has been one of the most anticipated games of the decade. And the community is far from fatigued. We want more and more!

That’s because the Kingdom Hearts series has constantly evolved and gotten better. The quality gap between Kingdom Hearts and Kingdom Hearts 2 is astounding. And that’s the case for all their games. Star Wars, on the other hand, has been slowly selling out and falling short. Want a good example? How about the repugnant Battlefront remakes? Man, those were sad.

Kingdom Hearts is a source of excitement and fun. Star Wars is a source of frustration and disappointment.

Closing Argument: Star Wars

I believe the correct expression would instead be the following: Kingdom Hearts is a source of confusion and cheesy dialogues about hearts. Star Wars is a source of inspiration and dreams. Seriously, try accurately explaining Kingdom Hearts to a casual video game player. Not going to be pretty.

On the other hand, Star Wars’ classic story of good versus evil gave us one of the greatest protagonists and greatest villains. We all love Luke Skywalker and Darth Vader. We’ve all dreamed of being able to use the force and make our own decisions about the dark and light side. In fact, Star Wars has been the recipient of some of the best fan films of all time because of the desire to own a lightsaber.

I mentioned before the use of music in Star Wars. It’s one of the most legendary of all film. Just the mention of the opening theme makes us think of a title crawl. But there’s so much more. There’s a huge world of aliens. There’s the lore of the Force. There’s even the sound effects that come from a lightsaber or Darth Vader’s mask. And that’s all original for Star Wars. Search your feelings. You know what’s better. Vote for Star Wars you must.

Closing Argument: Kingdom Hearts

Let’s consider making a list of Star War’s greatest mistakes. At the top of my head, I’ve got… Jar Jar Binks, the entirety of Episode 2, Palpatine’s use of the word “no”, Anakin’s hatred of sand (yes, I know that’s covered in the entirety of episode 2. It needs mentioned again), the rehashed plot of Episode 7, Ewoks, and all the disappointments in Episode 8 (such as not telling your crew plans, the entire casino sequence, and Luke not actually fighting anybody). That’s just a few of the things from the main movies. There are many more.

Kingdom Hearts, on the other hand, is consistent and improving quality. And for many of us, it contains some of our most cherished video game memories. Just to name a few of my favorites, we’ve got the entire climax of the first Kingdom Hearts game (especially when Sora says “There’s no way you’re taking Kairi’s heart!”), the battle of the 1000 heartless, any fight with Sephiroth, the entire climax of Kingdom Hearts 2 (especially blocking all those blasts with Riku)… Wow, I had to stop myself because I just realized that I wouldn’t mention the ending of just about every game. Birth By Sleep? Dream Drop Distance? 358/2 Days? They’re all so great.

There really isn’t any doubt about it. Kingdom Hearts is just better. Kingdom Hearts took one of the most ridiculous concepts ever considered, Disney + Final Fantasy, and made it video game gold because the game directors poured their everything into them. They always feel like quality products, never like cash grabs, which is what the majority of Star Wars material feels like. Trust your heart. Vote Kingdom Hearts.

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